You Get What You Need

Many of you are aware of the “Hug Fast” I am currently on. Sounds weird? Yes. Sounds completely ridiculously? Absolutely. BUT…hear me out. 

A hug, is something special, yes? A hug is for when you’re just so filled with overflowing joy that you have to share it with someone. A hug is for when you finally see that friend you’ve been missing for months and they pick you up, twirl you around and squeeze the life out of you. A hug is for when you need comfort, and you yearn for someone’s arms around you to remind you that you are never alone. 

It’s one of those little gifts God gave us when He gave us each other. Because He knew we’d get lonely and every once in a while, we’d like to just pretend the world isn’t a rough place to be and hold someone like they were our anchor to a happy place. 

Personally, hugs aren’t like that for me anymore. Especially in some of the social circles I run in, sometimes a hug feels so…overdone. We demand a hug when we see each other, we demand a hug when we leave. And when I say, demand, I mean demand. And I don’t know about you, but that’s not really special to me anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I have the close people in my life who I don’t mind having this with, you know who you are, but for the majority of my friends, it’s become a requirement. 

A hug shouldn’t be the affirmation of a friendship. It shouldn’t be what defines our friendship. Just like the fact that a couple doesn’t need to hold hands and kiss in front of their peers in order to prove that they’re together or prove that they’re in love. We know you are. Don’t take something so special and treat it like it’s nothing. I know who my friends are. I know who I love. I just don’t want to feel like physical contact is necessary in order to have a good friendship. 

So, back to my “Hug Fast.” It’s more like a challenge to me, really. Learning how to save things are great. When I give someone a hug, I want it to be because of remarkable, for it always to mean something. Not something I have to do, but something I want to do. 

Take this on a broader scale: What are you doing to something that should feel special but you’re reducing it to a mere habit? Maybe you’re constantly giving something away that should be treasured for a special day. Maybe you’re telling someone you love them just because you feel like it’s what you should be doing. 

Think about why you’re doing something. Mean the things you say. Act genuinely. Speak from your heart. 

A few people this past week have asked me what’s been going on in my life when it comes to dance, and it’s something I’ve honestly been thinking about a lot. It’s true, dance used to be EVERYTHING to me, I lived and breathed it. The dance studio seemed to be my second home…but things have changed now, and that is what has led me to write this blog tonight. 

First off, I love it…there’s not a doubt. There is a certain feeling every dancer gets when they lose all inhibition but maintain all control in their movement. Sound like a contradiction? Probably because it is…but ask any dancer, and they’ll tell you it makes perfect and complete sense. I can’t even begin to explain the rush you get when the music is blaring, your heart is pounding and it just seems like it’s you, center stage, in the spotlight, moving in a way that only you can. 

Since I was four years old, I have been honored to call myself a dancer. At eleven, I joined the Gary Geis Dance Company as an apprentice, and then at twelve, was made an official member and that’s where I’ve been for four years. 10+ hours a week I’ve sweated and smiled through it all. Up until this year, that was where my heart was, but up until this year, things were a lot different. 

Growing up in GGDC, I was part of a family. Ten girls who made one, big, happy family. Ok, maybe we had our moments of pure dysfunction, but nevertheless, we loved each other and encouraged each other every step of the way. Now, the best part about all of this, was that I was the baby. I was the youngest and I looked up to everyone else as if they were my older adopted sisters. I was the one everyone looked out for and cared for and would get quite upset if they had learned something/someone was bothering me. Let me just say, there are not many situations where you will find so close knitted  protective girls…at times it was almost scary. You didn’t ever mess with one of us…because you might just have nine others threatening to kick the life out of you, and trust me, no one ever wants to get kicked by a dancer. 

I’m a high-school junior now, and the only girl left from that family. Inevitably, the others have graduated and gone off to college, or just in different directions, we try to get together as much as we can, but the consistent routine of seeing each other all the time is gone. I miss them with all my heart and I know we’ll always be a family. Every once in a while, we reunite on the dance floor and it feels just like old times. 

In the present time, a new family is forming in GGDC, and unfortunately, I’m not around enough to be a part of it…but I see the talent that exists there, and I’m so proud of the current dancers and the hard work they’re putting into it. But right now, dance is just not where I’m supposed to be all the time. 

God is leading me into so many new adventures this year, and it’s hard to keep up with it all, but I know with His strength, I am capable of making it through. At the beginning of the school year, He asked me to give something important to me up, and that something important was dance. 

At first, it was a hard pill to swallow, but it really has been for the better. I now see dance as something that will always be there for me, almost like an appendage. It will always be a part of me, I can’t just cut it off. No matter what I do, no matter where I go, it will always be there. I know that God hasn’t made it to be a career choice for me, but He has made it something I’m talented in and can escape to. But it isn’t where He wants my focus, and that’s why I’ve shortened my time at the studio. 

It’s about why I do it. I can’t be doing it for me. I can’t be doing it for my teachers. I can’t be doing it for the applause. 

I have to be doing it simply because, 

He made me to.